


Love You With The Lights On

by clindzy



Category: Actor RPF, CW RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anger, Bottom Jared Padalecki, Depression, Detective Jensen, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Heavy Angst, Hurt Jared Padalecki, M/M, POV Alternating, Protective Jensen, Top Jensen Ackles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2018-11-16 18:23:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11258403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clindzy/pseuds/clindzy
Summary: Jared had never intended on marrying a sociopathic, twisted man but it happened all the same. For months he wallowed in the silence, ignoring the brutal truth faced before him.But what happens when fate intervenes, in the dairy aisle of all places?It turns Jared's life upside down and inside out, and Jensen is the catalyst to a new beginning. If only Jared would open his eyes and his heart to the man who could save him from the hell he was living in.





	1. In the Silence

**Author's Note:**

> This is the darkest thing that I have _ever_ written. The intensity that came pouring out of me, shocked me to say the least.  
>  TW for violence, depression, self medicating and the usual, heavy dark stuff that comes along with them.
> 
> There will be a happy ending for Jared, I promise, but it's pretty far away right now. If you can stick with him through the rough patches, it will be worth it <3.
> 
> I love the idea of Jared being a nurse, putting that big heart of his to good use. At the moment, muse has not decided what Jensen does for a living.
> 
> If you want to listen to what helped this piece come out, then listen to "Love You with the Lights On" by morgxn.
> 
> As always, comments, kudos and love are always appreciated!
> 
> Enjoy <3.

Jared didn’t intend on marrying a sociopathic, twisted man but it had happened all the same. How his life had spiraled into this, he often wondered in the long gaps of silence between him and the man that had called him an angel the first time they had met.

 

 

 

 

Jensen bumped into Jared late one night at the grocery store, taken aback by the skittishness written all over this giant of a man. Such an interesting contrast, Jensen mused. He knew for a fact that he had never seen this lanky, golden skinned man before. Maybe he should come to the store late at night more often. Jensen chuckled softly.

 

“My fault,” Jensen said apologetically, lips quirking as he spoke.

 

Jared turned red, stuttering, “N-no, it was mine.”

 

Before Jensen could even blink or reply, Jared had fled like a startled horse. Puzzled by what just transpired, Jensen finished his shopping and drove home, all the while Jared’s soulful eyes are bored into his brain. As he put his groceries away in his dark, silent kitchen, Jensen can’t help but to wonder what this man is like beyond his shy, shaky surface. 

 

Jared panicked when a strange man jostles him in the dairy aisle. Frantic, he tried to move away from this stranger with tawny blonde hair. Jared specifically comes this late to avoid concerned glances, accidental touches, and most importantly, his husband’s terrifying and volatile wrath.

 

It’s barely been a week since Jason had pinned Jared against their living room wall, fingers dancing around Jared’s throat in a mockery of affection. 

 

“You whore!” Jason screamed, tightening his fingers around Jared’s elegant neck.

 

Jared flinched at the pressure being inflicted against the sensitive flesh below his ear.

 

“I’m s-sorry,” Jared pleaded, praying all the while that this torment would end soon.

 

Quickly, Jared is jolted back to the present when he hears the stranger speak, mesmerized by his slow, smoky drawl and earnest green eyes. 

 

Jared fled the dairy aisle when Jensen tried to move closer to him.

 

_ No, no, no, _ his mind screamed. Forcing his shaky legs to move, Jared loped awkwardly to the front of the store. He avoided the few sets of eyes he felt on him, nearly hyperventilating by the time he reached the checkout.

 

The cashier was the usual cashier that waits on him - Jared thinks her name might be Kerry. Tonight he doesn’t return her greeting. Jared placed the groceries on the conveyor belt in a methodical manner. 

 

Kerry smiled at him sympathetically; not too long ago she had been in Jared’s shoes. Fortunately for her, Kerry had had family to rescue from the hell she had been living in. It’s on the tip of her tongue to tell Jared that help is closer than he thinks, that he doesn’t have to suffer in silence. Instead, she offered a kind smile and a comfortable silence to the man standing before her.

 

Jared nodded in thanks to the familiar cashier after he paid for Jason’s specifically requested groceries. In another life, she would have been just the type of girl that he would have bonded and gossiped over coffee with, gushing over the impossibly beautiful man that is Mark Pellegrino, discussing the latest fashion trends, commiserating over awful dates. . .Instead, Jared is living a nightmare, hiding in the shadows, a pale copy of who he used to be. The silence is the worst of it all. . .

 

Jared used to be a bubbly, vivacious guy and then Jason had walked into the hospital, bleeding profusely - Jared’s life as he knew it was gone with a kiss of the wind.

 

 

_ “You’re my angel, Jared,” Jason murmurs, muzzy from all of the drugs being pumped into him. Later, he would claim that he had been high on Jared. _

 

_ “I’m not an angel. Just a nurse, Mr. Brock.” Jared blushes furiously, turning away quickly from his patient. _

 

_ “You’re not  _ **_just_ ** _ a nurse. And it’s Jason,” Jason corrects in a soft tone.  _

 

_ He does his best to sit up despite all of the wires coming out of him, needing to meet Jared’s gaze. _

 

_ Jared stops trying to pretend to read his patient’s chart, and shyly meets the man’s crystal blue eyes. His stomach flops and his heart begins racing. This man is gorgeous and soooo out of Jared’s league. _

 

_ “You do this often?” Jared asks awkwardly, trying to keep the conversation going. _

 

_ If Jason finds his question irritating, he doesn’t show it. _

 

_ “Every chance I can help it,” Jason replies smoothly. _

 

_ “I s-s-see,” Jared stutters, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. _

_ “You can come closer, I don’t bite. . .unless you’re into that kind of thing,” Jason purrs, winking for added effect. _

 

**_Shit_ ** _.  _

 

_ That was when Jared knew he was had. There was no going back. From that moment forward Jared surrendered to the all-consuming, frenetic pace that was Jason’s life. Soon they were JasonandJared, no space.  _

 

_ Jared began to notice little things about Jason that concerned him as as time went on but he dismissed them as hazards of Jason’s job as the owner of a successful hotel chain - too much booze, one too many rowdy guests - at least that’s what Jared told himself. In truth, he had no idea how Jason got half of the injuries he did, including the one that landed him in Jared’s hospital that night five years ago. _

 

_ Within a year, they were living together. In less than two, Jason had slid a ring on Jared’s finger, proclaiming his love for the world to see. Not long after, Jared’s world narrowed to only Jason and what Jason approved of. His ring felt more like a chain each day that he wore it. _

 

_ Inevitably, the anger boiled over, leaving in its wake black and blue bruises that Jared had to battle to hide from the world. Jared spent every minute of every day obsessing on how to keep Jason happy, or at the very least placated. Jared couldn’t handle much more of Jason’s violent mood swings. He truly believed what Jason told him: if only Jared tried harder, then Jason would not have to punish him for his offenses against their marriage, Jason’s reputation and Jason himself. _

 

 

 

Jared’s phone rang obnoxiously loud in the too quiet night. He releases an exasperated sigh, not even needing to look at the display to know who was calling.

 

“Yes, Jase?” Jared asks softly, feeling the all too familiar mask slip into place but cracks have started to form.

 

“Jare,” Jason says in his all steel voice.

 

Jared gulps and forces himself to act naturally.

 

“I’m on my way home now,” Jared replies softly.

 

“Good.” 

 

And with that, the line goes dead, leaving Jared all alone with his clawing fear in the dark. 

There’s no way that Jason could know about the stranger bumping into Jared. He can’t know. Jared tries to reason with himself but panic is threatening to overtake him. It will do him no good if he loses it now, in the poorly lit grocery store parking lot with no one around to help him, even if he could ask for it.

 

It’s only a matter of time before it all comes crashing down. Jared can hear it in the silence of the night around him. 


	2. Nowhere to Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The universe has it out for Jared. And he may not survive this round.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, let me just say a huge thank you to everyone that has commented, left your kudos and read this fic!   
> I truly didn't expect any of this.   
> By request, I have completed the second chapter :).  
> Tags have been updated. See if you can catch which ones are new!  
> Thank you all for continuing to encourage and inspire me <3

Jared shakes himself back together, taking a quick look around before hurriedly loading his groceries into the back of his SUV. 

 

It won’t do him any good to dawdle now. Jason is already on the verge of a rage. There’s no reason for Jared to make it worse.

 

Blowing through a red light and narrowly missing another, Jared groans as he sees the flash of sirens in his rearview, and the wail not far behind. He groans, releasing a heavy breath, fingers itching to pick up his phone. Jason is going to kill him for this. Jared begins to sweat profusely, heart banging against his ribcage. 

 

He can’t be late getting home. He just can’t. Jared forces himself to breathe in and out, four counts at a time. It doesn’t help much, but it pushes his fear to one corner of his mind and allows him to focus on how he can get out of this mess without further retribution from Jason.

 

Jared shudders. He can only imagine what Jason will inflict upon him once he finds out that Jared was pulled over for speeding. He can hear Jason’s words now: “So reckless. So fucking stupid. How will this look to my partners, huh? Did you stop to think about that? Nooo, of course you didn’t. All you thought about was yourself, as usual.”

 

He will sneer at Jared, fingers flexing, itching to find purchase on Jared’s skin. Of course, Jared will fight, ultimately losing in the battle of dominance. For his insolence, Jason will only be incensed further. His rage will be written all over Jared’s throat, ribs and his back. Jared will be forced to wear long sleeves and beg to do paperwork for his shift instead of his rounds. So, Jason will win twice. He gets to hurt Jared physically  _ and _ take away one of the only pleasures Jared has left in his life. 

 

Someone clears their throat outside Jared’s window. He nearly jumps out of his skin at being startled. Then, he really does want to jump out of his skin. . .

 

Of all people to pull him over, it was the stranger from the dairy aisle. 

 

Jared bites back a litany of curses. The universe really does hate him, he thinks bitterly as he takes in the cop’s face that is peering in through his open window, concern written plainly on his face.

 

“License and registration, please,” Jensen requests patiently, eyes darting all over Jared’s face, his exposed neck, and the sweat traveling down the column of his neck, dipping down under the collar of his faded gray t shirt.

 

“O-officer,” Jared stammers, trying desperately to figure out a way that he can keep this from Jason.

 

Jensen feels something rip to shreds inside of him. Clearly, this man is in pain and he needs help. 

 

Jensen became a cop for a reason. He can’t deny anyone help; they simply have to ask.

 

“It’s actually Detective Ackles, but you can call me Jensen,” Jensen says gruffly, lowering his small flashlight away from Jared’s face.

 

Jared stumbles over the name in his mind, unable to allow it to meet the air. It wouldn’t do to be familiar with this man. Jason is already going to be furious enough at this evening’s events. 

 

“Detective,” Jared finally says in a hushed whisper. 

 

He reaches for his glovebox, removing the registration promptly, and fishes his license out of his wallet, then hands it to Jensen.

 

“Do you know why I pulled you over, Mr. Padalecki?” Jensen squints at the man’s last name, then allows his glance to flicker over Jared’s left hand. Sure enough, an ostentatious platinum band sits on his ring finger. Already starting to draw his own conclusions, Jensen forces himself to focus on the very obviously shaken man in front of him.

“Not really, no. . .” Jared’s voice trails off, eyes darting all around, refusing to land on Jensen’s face.

 

“At first, it was for blowing the red light, but then I caught a glimpse of your hair and immediately knew it was  _ you _ .” Jensen emphasizes the last word, telling Jared just how affected this cop was by their accidental meeting.

 

“I’m nothing special,” Jared mumbles. “Just Jared.”

 

“Somehow I doubt that you’re just anything.” Jensen chuckles a low, smoky laugh.

 

Jared feels ice wrap around his heart. “Did Jason send you?! He did, didn’t he?” Jared becomes hysterical, hands tugging at his hair in anguish.

 

Jensen gives Jared a confused glance. “ I have no idea who you’re talking about, Mr. Padalecki.” 

 

Jared looks hesitantly at Jensen before biting his lip, not stopping until he tasted blood. His phone started ringing again. Jared reaches for the phone, needing to answer but not having any clue as to what to tell Jason to explain why he was so late.

 

Jensen throws all procedure out the window, and grips Jared by the arm. “Out of the car. Now.” His tone indicates that Jared should obey, or there will be unpleasant repercussions.

 

Jared whimpers, closing his eyes against everything pounding his soul, his heart and his body. He couldn’t take anymore. He didn’t have anywhere left to go. It seems this detective’s arms are as good of a place as any to spend his last moments. 

 

Jared tries feebly to open his door, tears running down his face until everything is blurry in front of him.

 

“Jesus,” Jensen breathes. 

 

There’s a lot more to this anxious, skittish man than Jensen had originally thought. 

 

He manages to clasp the slick metal door handle, flipping it up, and swinging the door wide open so he can remove Jared’s limp form from the driver’s seat. Jared sags against Jensen, finally giving up, giving into the darkness.

 

Jensen feels Jared’s body go completely slack just as he has gotten Jared’s arm around his shoulder and feet firmly on the ground. 

 

Struggling, Jensen tries to lower Jared to the ground without putting another bruise on this beautiful man, and awkwardly lowers himself to his knees, keeping his arm locked tightly around Jared’s shoulders, using his other arm to anchor around Jared’s waist. After what seems like hours, Jensen has Jared laying prone on the ground.

 

“J-Jason,” Jared cries out fearfully. 

 

“Shh. He can’t hurt you anymore, Jared.” Jensen uses Jared’s first name to keep him alert amongst the overload of adrenaline surging through his body.

 

Jared can only shake his head back and forth, clearly distressed. 

 

“I’ve got you, Jared. Right now, I need you to calm down. You’re not going anywhere until I have you checked out.” Jensen assesses Jared quickly, eyes darting from his head, trailing all the way down to his feet.

 

Jensen digs out his cellphone from his jeans pocket, immediately dialing his captain’s number. 

 

“Need your help, Cap,” Jensen murmurs into the phone, eyes never leaving Jared.

 

One red light and now Jared is facing a fate worse than death: Jason on a full blown bender, no holds barred. Jared shudders again, from the cold and the fear that has overtaken him.

 

He’s not sure if he has it in him to survive one more round with this man he calls his husband. 


	3. Whispers in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen tries to prove to Jared how serious he is about keeping him safe. Like all matters of the heart, it's going to prove a lot harder than either one of them can imagine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments and kudos warm my heart and encourage me to continue this fic. I'm so happy that you all are enjoying it.   
> I'm going through a pretty rough time right now, so all of your kind words have helped immensely <3.  
> Kind of a short chapter but I couldn't leave you guys waiting any longer!  
> Enjoy :)

Jensen paces back and forth nervously, eyes never leaving Jared’s prone form on the cold, rocky ground. He hopes like hell that his captain will be there soon.

 

“Come on, Jared. Open your eyes for me,” Jensen pleads in a whisper, eyes sweeping upward to the sky, hoping foolishly that something divine will intervene, and erase all of the horror that Jared has no doubt been subjected to.

 

Minutes tick by, punctuated only by the occasional chirp of a cricket and his heartbeat thumping loudly in his ears. Jensen hasn’t seen one car drive past them since he pulled Jared over. Just as he’s about to dial his captain again, Jensen sees Jared’s eyes flutter.

 

When Jared finally comes to, his whole body is alight in pain, and shivering from the cold and the shock that has set in. He blinks his eyes blearily, trying to shake the fuzz out of his vision. 

 

Jensen immediately rushes back to his side, kneeling down, pressing a hand to Jared’s forehead, wincing at the clammy feel of Jared’s skin.

 

“Wh-where. . .” Jared croaks, struggling to sit up and get back to his feet. 

 

Jensen lets his hand drop from Jared’s sweat slick forehead, tilting his head at his captain, and requesting that he move closer.

 

“Jared,” Jensen speaks softly. “You passed out. I called my captain for help.”

 

The captain moves slowly into Jared’s line of sight, squatting down, allowing the trembling young man to take a good look at him.

 

“I’m Captain Morgan. . .no pirates or rum here, sadly,” Captain Jeffrey Dean Morgan jokes, hoping to put this terrified man at ease.

 

Jared simply blinks slowly, not reacting at all to Morgan’s joke.

 

The captain smiles sheepishly, slowly inching back a few feet, and allowing Jensen to move closer to Jared.

 

“I tell him all the time that he should retire that dumbass joke,” Jensen said softly to Jared, hint of a smile playing at his lips.

 

Frantically, Jared begins looking around him for his phone, patting at his pockets and becoming more agitated as the seconds pass.

 

“Have to call Jason. Have to tell him it’s all my fault.”

 

The look of abject terror and agony in Jared’s eyes has Jensen ready to scoop this gentle giant into his arms, and make sure that this Jason can never hurt him again. 

 

“Son, you’re not going anywhere except a hospital.” Morgan looks at Jared, concern evident in his stubbled, haggard face.

 

“He’s right,” Jensen says, brushing a piece of hair off of Jared’s forehead, wishing he could do more for the pain Jared is suffering through.

 

It breaks his heart even more to see Jared instinctively withdraw from his touch. 

 

Morgan walks back to his car to retrieve his phone, sighing heavily as he swipes across the screen. He never likes taking on abuse cases of this gravity; he never feels like he can do enough for the victim and all that they have been forced to live through. 

 

 

Jared doesn’t understand why someone like Jensen cares so much. He doesn’t deserve any of this - his help, his concern or the simple affection.

 

Jensen has worked with enough abuse victims to know what kind of thoughts are going through Jared’s head at this particular moment.

 

“It’s going to be okay, Jared. I give you my word,” Jensen vows, emerald eyes shining fiercely with his promise.

 

“He’ll come for me,” Jared whispers, defeat and desperation bleeding out into the air around him.

 

“And I’ll be there to protect you,” Jensen says softly, longing to hold Jared’s hand, if only for a second to give him some sort of security.

 

Jared winces as he hears his phone start to ring, destroying the calm that Jensen had been working on establishing.

 

“That’s him,” Jared whispers fearfully, hand clutching his chest.

 

Jensen can’t stand to see any more pain, guilt or fear wrack the man in front of him. Throwing all regulations to the wind, he scoops Jared into his arms, refusing to loosen his hold as Jared struggles weakly against the arms containing him.

 

In the dark, Jensen utters a few simple words that mean more to Jared than any gift Jason has ever bought for him or his sanctimonious vows.

 

“I would give my life for you, Jared. Not just because I’m a cop but because you deserve to know what real love is.”

 

Jensen punctuates his statement with a soft kiss to Jared’s temple, unaware that his captain has caught the entire exchange; Jared all but collapses again into Jensen’s broad chest, tears pouring silently but freely.


	4. Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen enlists his boss for help with Jared and in the process has an epiphany that will change everything.
> 
>  _I see nothing in your eyes  
>  And the more I see the less I like  
> Is it over yet  
> In my head  
> I know nothing of your kind  
> And I won't reveal your evil mind  
> Is it over yet  
> I can't wait  
> So sacrifice yourself  
> And let me have whats left  
> I know that I can find  
> The fire in your eyes  
> I'm going all the way  
> Get away  
> You take the breath right out of me  
> You left a hole where my heart should be  
> You gotta fight just to make it through  
> 'Cause I'll be the death of you  
> This will be all over soon  
> Pour salt into the open wound  
> Is it over yet  
> Let me in  
> So sacrifice yourself  
> And let me have whats left  
> I know that I can find  
> The fire in your eyes  
> I'm going all the way  
> Get away  
> You take the breath right out of me  
> You…  
> _  
> "Breath" Breaking Benjamin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my best friend Luce. Without her, my thoughts would be scattershot and still split between a notebook and my files. You continue to be my rock through everything. Thank you for believing in me doll <3\. You're the best Smiley Satan ever :D.
> 
> Don't hate me for the ending :P. . .and remember, to show your favorite author love :).
> 
> Enjoy <3

All Jared had ever wanted was to be a nurse, fall in love, and have a family. Those dreams changed the minute that Jason started choking the very breath from him. Then his dreams narrowed to mere survival and keeping Jason placated. As Jensen draws back from him, he wonders how he let things get so far. All he ever wanted never mattered to Jason; that much is clear now.

The kiss, if it even could be called that, serves as a stark reminder to Jared of the life he could have had.

He sighs heavily, and feels Jensen wrap his arms tighter around him, almost like he’s trying to anchor Jared to the here and now.

Jensen draws back from Jared slowly after laying a gentle kiss to the younger man’s sweaty temple. He feels how far away Jared is, even though he is ensconced firmly in his arms. Jensen does what feels right and holds onto Jared tighter.

Something about this man has twisted around his heart. It’s more than Jared needing his help, it runs far deeper and more complicated than that. Instinctively, Jensen knows that Jared is going to need every little bit of help that Jensen can give, and Jensen is more than willing to give his breath for this beautiful, traumatized man.

Jensen remains silent as he continues to hold Jared, both as a comforting measure and as a means of keeping Jared stable.

Morgan’s footsteps crunch against a few twigs scattered on the ground, creating a symphony of sound in the too quiet night. Jared’s head shoots up like he’s been shot and he tries to scramble away from Jensen.

“Easy, Jared,” Jensen soothes, voice not going above a whisper.

Jared relaxes marginally in Jensen’s arms but keeps a wary eye on the captain.

Morgan leans down and whispers into Jensen’s ear, “Ambulance will be here soon. The EMTs are going to allow you to ride with him since it’s special circumstances and all.”

Jensen’s boss shoots him a knowing look, lips tipping up slightly in a small grin. “You’re good with him, Jen.”

Jensen simply nods, unwilling to voice any of the emotions flooding through him, most of them because Jared and his damn lanky legs in that dairy aisle.

He feels Jared list in his arms and immediately he presses his fingers against Jared’s carotid, checking his pulse.

It’s slower than he would like but Jensen can’t do much until the EMTs arrive and that frustrates him more than he would like to admit.

Just as the ambulance pulls up, lights flashing and the ungodly wail of the siren deafening everyone in its immediate radius, Jared’s phone begins ringing incessantly. By the time the EMTs have opened the squad, Jensen has counted that there are least three missed calls if the abbreviated rings are anything to go off of. Then the phone starts beeping with message after unread message.

Jared tries to stand up on shaky legs, shoving Jensen away so he can get to his car and answer his phone. He’ll crawl if he has to. Jason will  _ not _  be ignored and this many missed calls and messages only further cements his death sentence.

“Jared!” Jensen says sharply, right hand reaching for Jared’s wrist and instead grabs air. He waves off the EMTs, the look in his eyes enough to stop them dead in their tracks.

“Jason,” Jared says in a trembling voice, not even stopping to look back at Jensen. He has to get to his phone. Jared doesn’t even care that he’s disobeying a cop, a detective at that, and that there is another officer, Jensen’s boss, his mind not so helpfully reminds him, standing just feet away. They can shoot him for all he cares; if he doesn’t answer Jason, he will be facing much worse.

Jensen finally manages to find his feet and grabs the back of Jared’s jacket.

“No, Jared,” Jensen says firmly, putting his free hand against the car door.

“I have to,” Jared pleads, panic clutching his chest and making his voice shake.

Jensen hates the way Jared is shaking because of the man that should love him above all else. He hates how Jared won’t even look him in the eye because he’s terrified of being accused of infidelity. Jensen hates how this man has destroyed all sense of Jared’s self preservation. Most of all, Jensen hates the pain that Jared has been made to endure, just because the man he loves is a completely delusional bastard.

“No,” Jensen repeats, eyes flicking to Morgan for assistance.

The captain approaches Jared and Jensen cautiously, not wanting to spook Jared any further, stopping at Jensen’s left side.

“But --” Jared tries to plead his case again but it’s the captain that interrupts him this time.

“Son, you need medical care. Your husband will understand,” Morgan says calmly, looking Jared over for any telltale signs of abuse.

Immediately, Jared is agitated, pulling at his jacket sleeves and gnawing at his bottom lip.

Morgan looks to Jensen and Jensen returns his glance, understanding clear in the line of his jaw.

“Jared, has your husband been hurting you?” Morgan asks gently.

Jared feels tears well up in his eyes. He is so fucking ashamed of himself. Now, Jason really will kill him. Jason has told him time and again that their marriage is private; it’s no one’s business but their own what goes on between them.

Jensen squeezes Jared’s shoulder, gingerly turning him around and tilts his head up so they are eye to eye. The agony and despair that are reflected back at him in those hazel eyes is almost too much for Jensen to bear.

“Has he hurt you, Jared?” Jensen asks quietly.

Jared tries to answer but nothing passes through his mouth. He feels his breath cutting short and his chest tightening painfully. Jared tries to take a deep breath to steady himself, only to shudder violently.

Morgan decides that the questions can wait - this man’s health is far more important than hearing a verbal confirmation of what he and Jensen already know.

He flags the EMTs over and prays that Jensen will be able to help him. He prays to God that the man responsible for destroying Jared pays in spades for all the unthinkable acts he has committed. He prays that Jared might find salvation in this hell that has become his life.

In the ambulance, Jensen is all but shoved to the side so the EMTs can perform a basic triage exam on Jared. This allows him time to think, too much time as he sinks far into his head.

Jensen realizes that he’s been coasting on autopilot for months, burnout hitting him like a ton of bricks. He had lost the passion for his calling with the sparks turning into embers right before his eyes. But, it wasn’t until Jensen bumped into Jared that he realized how far gone he truly was.

Jensen had always scoffed those who touted the ‘love at first sight’ bullshit, instead believing that people chose their own fates in matters of the heart. Now after seeing Jared and those captivating tip tilted eyes, Jensen finally gets it; he will do absolutely anything for Jared, including giving his last breath to protect him from the monster that is his husband.

This realization should terrify Jensen. Instead, Jensen welcomes the epiphany, finding comfort in the love that has bloomed for the fighter before him, wrapped tightly in his arms.

Instinctively, Jensen knows that everything missing from his life can be found in Jared. He also knows that Jared will have to open his eyes and face the truth about Jason if their relationship even has a thread of a chance. Jensen is willing to bet his last breath that he can show Jared what love really means, what it feels like, what it should feel like, if only Jared can face his darkest fears. Jared just has to trust him, which is easier said than done.

A tap on his shoulder jerks Jensen out of his thoughts and back to Jared, heart immediately racing.

“How is he?” Jensen asks the younger EMT, tone almost frantic and tinged with fear.


	5. The Edge of Tonight (Trying to Get Things Right)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen struggles with all of the emotions that Jared evokes from him, and finds strength in his captain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the months between updates. Muse decided to go on vacation without informing me.  
> This chapter has been half written for at least a month but I found myself stuck. A lot of it has to do with the stress that has been smothering me.   
> Finally, I felt like I could finish it and have it make sense. Sometimes, a little disappointment goes a long way.   
> I always love hearing from you guys. It brightens my day to see your comments & kudos.  
> Music to listen to: "The Edge of Tonight" All Time Low  
> Hope you enjoy <3

The entire ambulance ride has Jensen wound tighter than strings on a cheap guitar. He doesn’t dare so much as breathe until the ambulance stopped at Oak View Hospital, tires screeching to a halt at the back entrance of the hospital. 

 

Immediately, doctors and nurses are milling around, removing Jared from the ambulance and wheeling him inside.

 

Jensen tries to speak but finds absolutely nothing will come out. 

 

He has never been more grateful for his captain in that moment. Jeff swoops in and begins giving the details of the situation to the doctor standing at the head of the gurney, barking out orders to his nurses.

 

“Go easy on him,” Jeff says softly but clearly, the look in his eyes enough for the doctor to understand that this patient was a special case.

 

Jared slowly comes to, shivering as shock continues to ravage his body. “J-J-Jason,” he whimpers.

 

Jensen’s heart breaks all over again. As if Jason is psychic, Jared’s phone begins ringing again, a constant trill amidst the clipped, frenzied dialogue in the room.

 

Finally, Captain Morgan has the presence of mind to turn the phone off, earning him a grateful smile from Jensen. 

 

Jensen begins pacing the length of the bed and back as he waits for the doctor and the nurses to complete their initial examination of Jared. 

 

The doctor steps back, clearly finished with his preliminary evaluation, and allows the nurses to adjust the blood pressure cuff on Jared’s arm as well as the pulse ox monitor on his left index finger. He begins walking towards the door, motioning for Jensen and Morgan to follow him.

 

Jensen walks briskly behind the doctor, allowing his captain to walk beside him.

 

“Relax, Jen,” Morgan whispers softly to his subordinate. 

 

Allowing his eyes to meet his captain’s, Jensen’s eyes tell him everything that he needs to know, everything that the compassionate and shy detective can’t bring himself to say.

 

The doctor comes to a stop in an alcove just off the nurse’s station. He clears his throat before beginning to speak.

 

Jensen licks his lips nervously, uneasy about what the emergency room doctor has to say.

 

“I’m Dr. Sheppard. I’m not going to pull any punches. The extent of this young man’s abuse remains to be seen. What I will say is that you were lucky to find him when you did.” The doctor looks pointedly at Jensen. 

 

“I was just doing my job,” Jensen mumbles, feeling a blush creep across his cheeks.

 

Morgan shakes his head minutely, unable to believe the selflessness in Jensen.

 

“What other tests are you looking at running on Mr. Padalecki, Dr. Sheppard?” Morgan prompts, again taking the lead.

 

“At the very least, a CT scan and X rays to determine what internal injuries are plaguing him and what injuries he has sustained in the past. I also wouldn’t rule out a psychological exam given the trauma Mr. Padalecki has obviously been subjected to,” Dr. Sheppard replies bluntly.

 

“Can we keep this bastard from seeing Jared while he’s in here?” Jensen finally spoke up.

 

Morgan lays a hand on Jensen’s shoulder, squeezing it gently.

 

“At this point, I would highly recommend it; I can advise the hospital staff to be aware that Mr. Padalecki’s husband is not to be granted entrance to his room. I will inform security as soon as we are done speaking.” The doctor offers Jensen a smile. “Don’t you worry, Detective Ackles. Jared is in good hands.”

 

Jensen looks at Morgan, his eyes full of abject worry and fear.

 

“You heard the doctor, Jen,” Morgan reassures the detective.

 

“I should have pulled him aside earlier this evening, after bumping into him and he ran off like a spooked colt,” Jensen says morosely, eyes darting back toward Jared’s room involuntarily.

 

“You still did the right thing: you saved him from another night of utter hell at that asshole’s hand,” the captain says firmly.

 

Suddenly, Jared’s shrill voice carries down the hall.

 

“Jensen!” 

 

Jensen immediately flies down the hall, only stopping once he gets to the door of Jared’s room.

 

He feels his stomach twist and turn all over again at the fear pouring off of Jared in waves. Relying on his police training, Jensen approaches the bed slowly and sits down cautiously in the chair still at the head of Jared’s bed. It won’t do to invade Jared’s space, spooking him further.

 

What Jared says next, Jensen couldn’t have fathomed, even if he tried. 


	6. Don't Call My Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing something this emotional forces me to dig deep into my past & more often than not, it's a long time before I feel normal again. While I love writing this story, seeing how Jensen & Jared's story plays out, I have to take breaks in between each chapter. I appreciate each & every one of you & your comments have touched me to my heart.  
> Enjoy this chapter <3

“I thought you l-left me,” Jared whispers pitifully, hands twisting in the bedsheets as he tries to get his anxiety under control. 

 

Jensen immediately feels guilty about leaving Jared even for a second. 

“Morgan needed to talk to me and I didn’t think you would wake up. I’m so sorry,” Jensen stumbles over his words, cheeks burning hot in shame.

 

Jared forces his eyes to focus on Jensen, coughing as he struggles to speak clearly, fear lodged squarely in his vocal cords. 

 

Jensen shifts from one foot to the other awkwardly as the silence stretches out around them.

 

He has no idea what to say - there was nothing in his cop training that came close to what he’s facing with Jared. He’s even more clueless as to how to proceed with Jared. Jensen shakes his head; it will serve no purpose thinking of  _ his _ feelings when Jared is the only one that matters right now.

 

“You saved me and I didn’t even thank you,” Jared croaks out finally after clearing his throat several times.

 

“I was just doing my job,” Jensen repeats the statement, hoping that by repeating it that he will believe it.

 

Jared shakes his head adamantly. “You’re my angel.”

 

Jensen can’t help the blush that floods his cheeks or the way he scoots even closer to Jared’s side. 

 

“You looked like you needed help in the worst way,” Jensen says softly, twisting his hands in his lap.

 

Jared focuses his gaze on Jensen, and Jensen sees all the pain and suffering clouding those beautiful eyes. 

 

“I prayed for you,” Jared whispers, blinking back tears. 

 

He shifts and twists in the bed so he can see Jensen better.

 

Jensen allows his heart free rein and reaches for Jared’s hand, fingers interlacing with long, delicate digits.

  
  


For the first time since meeting Jared, Jensen catches a glimpse of the man’s smile, and is damn near blown away by its intensity.

 

The silence stretches on for a few more moments until Jensen is able to gather his thoughts and offer Jared some sort of reply.

 

“It’s a good thing you did,” Jensen says in a gentle voice, squeezing Jared’s hand comfortingly.

  
  


“I was so lonely when I was with him,” Jared’s voice cracks, “I felt like I was drowning and there was no way I would survive.” 

 

Jared forces himself to look at Jensen in the eye while delivering this unfettered admission, mentally cringing at his eagerness to share; this man didn’t know him from a can of paint and here he was pouring his heart out. 

 

Jensen meets Jared’s gaze and holds it, blown away by the honesty in Jared’s words, and feels his heart breaking all over again at the pain written so clearly in those hazel eyes. 

 

Scrambling to think of something, anything at all to say, Jensen finds himself hip to hip with Jared in the bed before he can even think twice. He takes Jared into his arms, wrapping his arms around Jared’s lanky, too thin frame and presses a kiss to his forehead before starting to sing softly and shakily to the man he had obviously been destined to meet. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jensen feels Jared go slack in his arms, the combination of physical contact, pain medication and the aftermath of adrenaline conspiring against Jared’s vigilance to stay conscious.

 

He feels his left arm go numb first but ignores it, watching over Jared is the only thing that Jensen is focused on. Jensen continues to push his discomforts to the side until his bladder begins to protest his willful ignorance.

 

Jensen gingerly disengages Jared’s arms from around his chest, settling them slowly into the bed, and then pulled the blanket up to Jared’s shoulders. Before he could talk himself out of it, Jensen placed a chaste kiss on Jared’s lips.

 

“I’ll be right back, Jared,” Jensen promises. 

 

After relieving himself, Jensen realizes that in order to stay awake he needs caffeine and lots of it. He finally finds some at a nurse’s station two floors down. As he’s in the elevator, Jensen hears a security alarm going off followed by an announcement over the intercom. 

 

“Oak View Hospital is now under lockdown - no one in, no one out,” a man’s voice booms in the tiny elevator cabin. 

 

Jensen feels his heart plummet and his knees buckle, his coffee cup slipping through his fingers, landing with a heavy plop on the floor. He tunes out the rest, unable to listen to another word.

 

Not one to pray, Jensen starts praying anyway.  _ Please don’t let it be Jared. Please let it be anything but that… _

 

Jensen’s prayers go unheard because next thing he knows he’s coming to with his captain’s grizzled face inches from his.

 

“Jesus, boy, give me a heart attack why don’t you?” Morgan tries to glare at his detective but fails miserably.

 

Jensen is fairly certain he knows what happened but he forces himself to ask anyway. “What happened?”

 

The captain just shakes his head, unable to speak. Instead, he takes a seat next to Jensen and puts his head in his hands.


	7. Standstill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next 68 minutes feel like an eternity to Jensen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fully intended on updating this months ago but a cross country move and adulting took precedence. I have the next 2 chapters ready to go so I will be posting them soon.  
> I appreciate all of your love, feedback, kudos <3\. Even if you are only reading this fic, please know that it means the world to me!

“Jared’s gone, isn’t he?” Jensen asks, not ready to have the truth smack him squarely in the face.

 

Morgan nods in confirmation, words still refusing to meet the air.

Jensen feels his knees buckle but presses on.

 

“How?” Jensen demands, panic and fear sneaking into his voice.

 

“Guess the head of security is one of Jason’s former employees and current consultant at one of his hotels.”

 

Morgan rises abruptly from the chair and begins pacing erratically.

 

“Jason,” Jensen says the man’s name with such disdain and rage that Morgan stops his pacing in his tracks.

 

“You have to be smart about this,” Morgan tries to reason with Jensen.

 

“He had no right,” Jensen growls all but leaping out of his own chair, fingers balled up into a fist, itching to meet this bastard’s face. 

 

The next 68 minutes feel like an eternity to Jensen. He alternates between pacing restlessly and glaring at the monitors that have the nerve to display his worst nightmare. If Jensen was remotely in his right mind, he would have already apologized ten times over for snapping repeatedly at the security officer that had been subjected to bearing the brunt of his wrath.

 

“There!” Jensen jabs his finger at the far left screen, blood raising to a boil at the sight before him.

 

Jared was being drug forcefully from the bed and a syringe of some sort was jammed into neck by a tall, sleazy looking man in scrubs. Immediately, Jensen was ready to tear this man limb from limb. Even drugged, abused and wounded, Jared managed to struggle with his captor, and Jensen was even more impressed with Jared’s spirit than he already had been, but ultimately, the drugs rendered Jared limp, and Jared fell out of view after leaving the stairwell, presumably into the parking garage of the hospital. The last thing Jensen sees is Jared’s mouth open and close erratically, mouthing one word,  _ Jensen _ .

 

Jensen feels his heart drop even further; his chest gets tight at the thought of Jared being subjected to any further abuse or horror. Right then and there, he vows to do whatever it takes to get Jared back to him, even if it means sacrificing his badge and every single law he’s sworn to uphold.

 

Feeling much older than his years, Jensen pushes wearily away from the monitors, exhaling roughly, and rubs his hand across his mouth, willing his emotions to some distant corner of his mind so he might have some chance of focusing on finding Jared.

 

Even with the grainy images, lack of sound and no clear face, this was more than Jensen had to go off of an hour ago. With a heavy heart and leaden steps, Jensen leaves the security office to find his captain and to begin the emotional, arduous process of finding Jared.


End file.
